You know what's taken a big hit in the last few years? Bingo cards.
Not just the cards. Since the pandemic, you just don't see as many bingo parlors in operation. Some might think that's not such a bad thing and I get it. I'm agnostic on the subject.
That hasn't stopped people from talking about bingo. Especially the hopelessly ironic among us. But here's something I need to point out.
There's a reason that wasn't on your BINGO card.
Now I, like you, have used that popular phrase when presented with a new "you can't make this stuff up" occurrence. It's funny to say. But maybe it's time to let the saying rest. The truth is, most of you've never played bingo in your life and you don't realize you've got the wrong cards.
Because most of what is occurring right now was on my card. That's probably because my card is from the 'what happens when reality tv meets reality' pile. If you had the updated game cards, you might not be so blindsided.
It's not hard to tell if you need an update. If there's a spot corresponding with B 4 on your card, wrong card. If there's a spot corresponding with B any number, wrong card. Same for anything corresponding with I. Or N, or G for that matter.
They changed the name. It's WACKO now. Maybe that explains the scarcity of halls.
Isn't that crazy? Crazy but true. We were so focused on "Naked and Afraid", many of us completely missed the changing of the cards. At least the basic rules didn't change. Just match the letter and number combination on your card and if you get 5 in a row horizontally, vertically or diagonally first, you win.
Just don't yell Bingo! WACKO is the appropriate cry now, although many go with unprintable 4 letter exclamations.
As wacko as this may seem, things still slip by that aren't on the updated cards, either. I've been confronted by something I sure didn't see coming but here it is and I cannot deny it. Here's one that wasn't on my WACKO card.
Rand Paul and Thomas Massie are making me proud to be a Kentuckian.
That's the same Senator Poodledoo and Representative Seasons Greetings I've referred to before and probably will again. Two men I disagree with on most, if not all, issues. Two men I couldn't vote for even for two half-pints.
Still, in the last few weeks, these guys have stood up for principles I stand with. For Rand Paul, it's as basic as the constitution is the defining blueprint our country goes by. For Thomas Massie, it's sleazeballs shouldn't run our country.
I'm all in on both of those ideals. On both of those standards. If the three of us agree on those things, we can find other points of agreement. That's what the country is built upon. When we share points of agreement, we find solutions, we make progress, we become stronger.
As idealistic as that sounds, it's real. More real than anything scripted for reality television. Or printed on a bingo card.